Twits

Twitter. No Thanks...
I’m all in favour of modernising, moving with the times, keeping up to speed, finger on the pulse and all of that assorted nonsense. Take the circumstances behind this very post, for example. I’m currently on a camping holiday for a couple of days, and I’m sitting in a field in Wales, in a small tent, with no power anywhere near here, and yet I thought to pack my laptop in my sack in case the urge to type hit me. Not only that, but as a measure of society and how far we’ve come to rely on computers and the net, a cursory glance at my wireless network detector shows that somewhere within range of this field in the middle of nowhere there are two wireless networks (Gandalf and Bombadil, so I’m guessing a Lord Of The Rings fan...), presumably set up for residents of the coastal fishing shacks that just wouldn’t be able to function without broadband.
All this is great. But I don’t really get the idea of the social networking sites. Of course, I have a Myspace page, but I don’t really interact on there too much. I just did it because, well, you just did when it came out and you had some degree of computer literacy. But I don’t have a Facebook page, and I certainly don’t have a Twitter page. Never seen the point. I’m aware that I must be in a minority of people who want nothing to do with it, judging from its apparent popularity, and realistically, who am I to argue with such intellectual heavyweights as Stephen Fry when it comes to the benefits of such a method of communication? But being limited to precisely one question (what are you doing now?) and 160 characters to answer seems somewhat, well, limiting. Granted, Stephen Fry may well be able to share a sublime Bon Mot of genius with mere mortals within the confines of 160 characters, but for most of us, that’s just not enough space to twitter.
And then there’s the topic itself. What are you doing now? “Dave is running late for the party!” If that’s the case, Dave, get off the damn internet and get your arse down to a real social networking happening and, y’know, talk to real folk. “Stu is bored!!” Stu, you’re connected to the internet, which contains all the available information to anything that’s happened in the history of ever. The only thing your statement proves is you have sod all imagination. And why is it the majority of Twits seem to add exclamation marks to everything they Twit? Debs is never “Watchin XFactor wiv Stacy”, she’s always “Watchin XFactor wiv Stacy!” Call me old and clearly out of touch, but I’ll stick to blogs, web updates and steering clear of social networking. Now, must dash, “Neil needs coffee!”